My present location is The Red Cat Coffeehouse in Birmingham. My original plan was to go to the Birmingham Museum of Art first and then pick a coffeehouse to hang out in. But plans don’t always go the way we want, so I’m sitting in my favorite coffeehouse in Birmingham and I’m doing some much needed writing. I’ll pick a day of the week to have my littles watched and then come up to Birmingham and visit the museum when it isn’t so busy.
So, it’s nice to be out of my comfort zone. I’m out of my messy, cozy apartment. I’m out of my city. I’m away from my usual distractions and all I can think is, “Yay, let’s write!” When I’m not writing, I’m doing a lot of thinking, and I’ve had a lot of time to, once again, figure out what I want my blog focus to be! It’s pretty obvious too: my adventures as a stay-at-home mom! There’s never a dull moment in the Pezzulo household and I need to document my shenanigans more often. I’m far from perfect as a wife and mother. I don’t care about sharing my flaws and I definitely don’t care about who will say what based on my highs and lows in my everyday life!
I’m enjoying a very delicious drink called The Persian and I’m excited to think about all the things I could write about today! The real challenge though is finding the time to write between Austin spitting up on me and cleaning up whatever mess Savannah decided to make while drinking water out of her sippy cup!
Challenge accepted for getting more writing done while keeping my children alive! Today is a breeze to write because I don’t have any distractions. But today is again my starting point to become more consistent with my writing!
I tend to come up with some great things to write when the words are swirling around in my head. But when it comes time to actually write the words down or type them out, all the words become impossible to transfer over from my mind.
I have this fear that if I write down what’s really going through my head, I’ll see myself in a different light. I’ll be introduced to a side of myself that should be taken seriously. Being a kid at heart is fine and all, but I find that I do tend to show my adult side when writing. There’s nothing wrong with that side. I need to embrace that side of me even more.
I also have this fear of people’s reactions to my words. It’s okay to care, but I care too much! Not everyone is going to like my writing. I need to be okay with that. I have to write for myself first and then share my words from there. I can’t please everyone and that isn’t my goal, but I still let my thoughts get the better of me.
The words that scare me (for whatever reason at the time) simply need to be written one word at a time. I have a lot that I want to say. I have a lot that I want to share. I don’t want to be scared of being myself. I don’t want to be scared to learn about myself along the way as I get better with my writing. I don’t want to be scared to learn about others along the way as I get better with my writing. I just have to face whatever scares me head on with my writing and find assurance that things will work out for the better more than for the worst.
When I first thought of this title, I thought out some deep profound sentences to string together. But then I realized, I didn’t feel like sounding deep and profound, so I put the brakes on writing this blog piece.
Finding myself on the same hamster wheel and never really getting anywhere is starting to really work my nerves. In other words, I’m getting irritated with myself. I’ve never met a more indecisive person than myself. I mean the fact that I’m married is a miracle because I tend to have commitment issues. Yes, this is a new found revelation. Everything I’m good at and everything I’m passionate about are the things I’m always questioning. It would appear that sticking to what I’m good at scares me because what if I *gasp* succeed at what I’m really good at?!
I’m all for keeping my options open and placing eggs in multiple baskets. But I’m too open with my options. And I’ve got eggs in too many baskets. I’m just running that hamster wheel, thinking I’m going somewhere and I’m still in the same place. Oh how annoyed I find myself with myself.
And I know you’re probably thinking, “Krystal, stop being so hard on yourself. It takes some people years to figure things out.” And I’d say, “I guess so!” followed by a half-shoulder shrug.
The point is, I need to break this cycle of making one decision only to think another decision is more appealing. I need to focus on that which I was created to love and follow that path. And not only follow that path, but stay on it regardless of what is waiting for me.
Well, tomorrow marks the start of National Novel Writing Month and I’m pretty excited! Not like super excited, but excited enough that I’ll meet my daily goal of 1,667 words. The upside is that Savannah will be with her grandparents, so that leaves uninterrupted time to write. The downside is I made plans with a friend for an afternoon lunch and then I have plans with my husband for some get together at this job. But whatever the case, I’m pretty sure I’ll get the word count knocked out.
My biggest advantage is that I plan to jump around with my writing. I won’t do like I did last year and drive myself crazy trying to force words that just weren’t there. If I feel like working on Chapter Ten before Chapter Seven, then that’s what I’ll do. The most planning I’ve done is come up with titles for each chapter. That’s about all the guidelines I’ve given myself. Everything else, I’m pulling from my head like Dumbledore’s thoughts going into his Pensieve.
It’s gonna be a fun month. I mean right after I finish using the month of November to write my first draft of a book, all that effort will be completely forgotten as I prepare to give birth to my son, Austin, at the beginning of December!
Well it’s official, I’m not going to succeed at NaNoWriMo doing the whole planning and outlining thing. I had it all set up. I had a game plan. And then my brain was like “Nope, not gonna work!” So I’m going to do what I did last year, take my idea and work it out one written word at a time.
If I’m going to be successful with NaNoWriMo two years in a row, then I have to stay true to who I am as a first draft writer. No planning out the idea. Just taking the idea and running with it. I know what my end goal is. Obviously, it’s 50,000 words in a month. But it’s also to complete the first draft, so that I’ll have a foundation for the second draft.
Write the crap. Then clean the crap up. That appears to be my modus operandi when writing!
We all have words we don’t like. And not just words, phrases and abbreviations as well. We’re just all weird people like that.
“FYI (For Your Information)” doesn’t matter how it’s said, “moist”, and “juicy” top the list of words and phrases that irritate me. “FYI” just sounds snobby to me. I mean there are other ways to inform a person about something without ever having to use “FYI”, but that’s just me. And then “moist” and “juicy” send shivers down my spine. I don’t care if something is legitimately “moist” or “juicy”, those words just shouldn’t be used. I get irrationally irritated by their usage.
And then there are other words, abbreviations, and phrases that irk me:
-Potty (said to anyone over the age of five)
-“Hit me up”
-“If it were a snake it would’ve bit me!”
I’m pretty sure there are more of these that drive me crazy, but these are the things that come to mind…
Y’all the issues are real! But I’m okay with that. We all have words that we hear and it feels like nails on a chalkboard or a gag reflex in the making. That’s just the English language. It’s weird. And I’m pretty sure y’all think I’m weird. But share the words with me that irritate you and I’m pretty sure I’ll be thinking you’re weird too.
I tend to do this thing where I convince myself that I have nothing to write about. I act like it’s a massive dread to sit down and start punching away at the keys on my laptop and just type one word after another until, viola!, I’ve actually written something. I just don’t get myself sometimes. But whatever, I’m still growing up.
The best thing I’m learning for myself is to jot down my ideas. And even if I don’t do anything with that idea in the moment, it’s written down and not forgotten. I can work on it over time and eventually turn it into something more. Not forcing the words is always the best case scenario. And I’m finally figuring that out, but like I said, I’m still growing up. So, some of my blog posts will just be “dump posts” in which I’m just writing for the sake of writing, but I still like it enough to share with the world.
So this is my first official “dump post”. This is a reminder to myself that I am capable of writing something because I’m never truly in short supply of words. I just need to remember to take the words that are swimming in my head and just type them out or hand write them out, depending on what suits my fancy in the moment.
As time progresses and I get better and more comfortable with my writing, I won’t consider any of my writing “dump posts”, but in the meantime it is what it is. I want to write because I love writing and I love finding ways to inspire people or just make them laugh. I’m working to become a master of my craft.