Well, it’s a new year. Fourteen days into a new year and I’m finally sitting down to do some serious writing. Well, as serious as my mood will allow me to be. There are a lot of words in me that I would like to get down on paper or typed. It’s been a bit difficult though because I’ve been adjusting to life with two children. And at this point, I would much rather sleep than write. But I’m kid free for the next couple of days, so I’m going to enjoy the opportunity to work on some creative endeavors.
I probably won’t accomplish it, but I probably will, but I would like to get some kind of writing going on a novel. Or even finish the couple I attempted last year, but failed at because well, pregnancy. No more pregnancies though. So life as I know it will gradually fall into a rhythm that will allow me to write more!
Right now, my writing is crap. I’m definitely out of practice and I’m okay with that. It’s motivation to make time to write, even while balancing life with Savannah and Austin.
This will be a year of writing for me. Writing and reading as well because the more I read, the more I want to write.
Okay, I’m done babbling in this post. Maybe the next one will be better!
When I first thought of this title, I thought out some deep profound sentences to string together. But then I realized, I didn’t feel like sounding deep and profound, so I put the brakes on writing this blog piece.
Finding myself on the same hamster wheel and never really getting anywhere is starting to really work my nerves. In other words, I’m getting irritated with myself. I’ve never met a more indecisive person than myself. I mean the fact that I’m married is a miracle because I tend to have commitment issues. Yes, this is a new found revelation. Everything I’m good at and everything I’m passionate about are the things I’m always questioning. It would appear that sticking to what I’m good at scares me because what if I *gasp* succeed at what I’m really good at?!
I’m all for keeping my options open and placing eggs in multiple baskets. But I’m too open with my options. And I’ve got eggs in too many baskets. I’m just running that hamster wheel, thinking I’m going somewhere and I’m still in the same place. Oh how annoyed I find myself with myself.
And I know you’re probably thinking, “Krystal, stop being so hard on yourself. It takes some people years to figure things out.” And I’d say, “I guess so!” followed by a half-shoulder shrug.
The point is, I need to break this cycle of making one decision only to think another decision is more appealing. I need to focus on that which I was created to love and follow that path. And not only follow that path, but stay on it regardless of what is waiting for me.
The first conclusion is now that I’m a stay-at-home mom, I don’t ever want to have to punch on to somebody else’s time clock. And as a result of that first conclusion, the second conclusion is that I need to work extra hard on that which God has created me to love.
I am passionate about writing, photography, and art. And I am passionate about travel. It’s time to stop being afraid of doing and actually start doing. I’m not living my life if I’m just sitting on the sidelines waiting for everything to perfectly fall into place.
Life would definitely be much more fulfilling for me, if I stopped being afraid of mistakes, shortcomings, setbacks, and the opinions of others. Life would be much more adventurous if I stop waiting for the right moment and just create the right moment. Sure, I have a two-year-old daughter and another one due in December, but they can come along on the adventures. I have to stop using motherhood as an excuse to stay home all the time and not go anywhere or do anything. I also have to stop waiting for my toddler to be 100% cooperative before we get ready to go anywhere as well.
I can take the easy route and wait for things to fall into place before I just get up and go and start doing things. But I’ve been taking that route for awhile and nothing that was truly amazing has come of it. So now is the time to take the road less traveled and start making things happen. If I want an adventure, then I simply need to start taking an adventure!