Marriage is definitely a daily challenge. Not a hard challenge, but a daily one. The challenge for me is to love my husband more than I did the day before. The challenge for me is to know more about him than than I did the day before.
Marriage is also hard work. It’s a good hard work, but I’m learning it’s hard work. You don’t just say “I Do!” and then start deciding what you will do and won’t do. That won’t make for a productive marriage. At least, that’s what I’m learning.
I love my husband, otherwise, he wouldn’t be my husband. And while I say there’s nothing (legal) I wouldn’t do for my husband, I quickly do a mental run through of things I probably wouldn’t do. I Heading into my third year of marriage, I want to start changing that mindset. My husband is always going above and beyond for me and our daughter because that’s how he’s wired. I don’t mind going above and beyond, the mood just has to fit me. It’s time to start rewiring that part of my mind.
I don’t view marriage as a contract. I view it as a covenant. I have to remember that and I have to act accordingly. Most of the time I don’t do something, it’s not because I can’t, it’s because I don’t want to. That’s not fair to my husband. And I’m not saying he doesn’t have those kinds of days, but he has them far less often than I do.
So, my journey as a stay-at-home mother will begin at the beginning of September instead of the end of October. Doctor’s orders have a way of changing things, so for the duration of my pregnancy with my baby boy, I’ll be home having fun with my daughter, freaking out about where everything is going to go in the apartment, and pouring over Crockpot recipes to figure out which one I’ll finally make first.
Granted, all of this is happening sooner than expected, and yes, I’m totally freaking out about it, but I’m also really happy and excited. I have to trust God in this next chapter in life. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know Who holds that future, so with that knowledge alone, I know my family and I will be okay! We will be more than okay, even when we don’t feel like we are.
I’ll have to get into a new rhythm once I have my weekends back. Instead of leaving for work at six in the evening every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I’ll be eating dinner with my family and getting my daughter ready for bed. Instead of sleeping half the day on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, I’ll be up and cooking breakfast for my family or negotiating with my daughter as to why she can’t have pudding for breakfast. Not coming home at seven in the morning on Sundays means I can start going back to church and that is something I’m very excited about.
Getting used to not bringing in an income on a regular basis is also something I will have to adjust to as well. I have to realize that my worth and value are not tied to a paycheck. Being home with my family and making sure they are taken care of is important to me. Also, I can look for ways to become more creative from home, which shouldn’t be too hard with a toddler.
Life as I know it is about to become more interesting. And I’m looking forward to every moment of it!