How often have we found ourselves focusing on things that don’t matter? We take the little things and make them big things and lose sight of what’s important. I know I’m guilty of it. And I do it more often than I’d like to admit. It’s just so easy to do. And for myself, the solution is simple, but typically, I make it a big deal.
Caring less. That’s what I’m learning to do. The things that are not important, I’m learning to care much less about them. They take up unnecessary thought space and take away from the things that need to be focused on. And sure, I can go into details about the things that aren’t important, but that list would look different for each person.
In the short two years since giving birth to Savannah, I quickly forgot about the sleepless nights situation. Now, fast forward to my precious three-week-old son, Austin, and I’m quickly refreshed on how many nights I won’t be getting any sleep. I mean thankfully, I have enough coffee to run my own coffee shop if I wanted, but still a few hours of sleep won’t hurt either.
And speaking of sleep, Savannah and Austin are both taking a nap right now and instead of being sleep myself, I’m writing this blog and eating the cold chicken nuggets and fries Savannah didn’t want to finish for her lunch. Yes, I’m complaining about being tired, but not taking advantage of a prime opportunity to get some rest. I’m weird like that. Also, I’m enjoying the peace and quiet, save a few grunts from Austin as he passes gas in his sleep. I’m glad he’s cute and adorable!
Anyway, it was about four months before Savannah fully started sleeping through the night. So, I’m hoping that Austin follows the same timeline, but he probably won’t because every child is different. All right, I’m going to go to sleep now. Maybe I’ll get ten straight minutes of sleep before one of my littles decides to wake up!
I like scrolling through social media. Facebook and Instagram are my favorite to scroll through. Facebook has a tendency to annoy me at times, but then there are times where my timeline is pretty hilarious. But still, I can find myself losing track of time on Instagram and Facebook.
One thing I’ve stopped doing though is comparing myself and my life to what other people are posting on their social media feeds. I mean it’s very easy to post the highlights of our lives. It’s very easy to make ourselves something we aren’t when it comes to our social media accounts. I’ve fallen into that trap. But now, I simply don’t care. I’ve learned how to appreciate what people are sharing about their lives without feeling like I have to get out there and do the same thing. I’ve stopped envying people based on what they put on social media. Many times we’re all different people when we log off our Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook accounts.
I’ve also stopped caring about what other people are doing on social media because they basically post everything. It’s like nothing is off limits. That genuinely irritates me too. But whatever, we’re all allowed to do what we choose to do with our social media accounts. If I don’t like it, I don’t have to follow it. Easy as that. Gotta love simple solutions to the things that bother us. And again, I used to be that person who posted everything on social media. The more likes, the more accepted I felt. But that’s wrong. When I realized that I tied my self-worth to number of likes I got, I knew it was time for me to change my perspective on why I wanted to use social media.
Over the past few years, I’ve learned to stop being jealous of what people are doing with their lives and sharing on social media. I’ve also learned to stop feeling inadequate because I wasn’t doing the same things as other people. And I’ve stopped posting things just for the sake of likes. If there’s something I want to do, then I’ll do it. And if there’s a place I want to go, then I’ll go. My favorite feature on Instagram is the stories. I can share something and it’s gone within 24 hours. I don’t need to post everything on social media to prove it happened. As my mindsets have changed in regards to social media, I’ve been able to enjoy scrolling through my feeds without feeling like I’m not doing anything with my life. I mean I’m not (just kidding) but I’ve learned to appreciate the lives other people live while loving my own.
When I first thought of this title, I thought out some deep profound sentences to string together. But then I realized, I didn’t feel like sounding deep and profound, so I put the brakes on writing this blog piece.
Finding myself on the same hamster wheel and never really getting anywhere is starting to really work my nerves. In other words, I’m getting irritated with myself. I’ve never met a more indecisive person than myself. I mean the fact that I’m married is a miracle because I tend to have commitment issues. Yes, this is a new found revelation. Everything I’m good at and everything I’m passionate about are the things I’m always questioning. It would appear that sticking to what I’m good at scares me because what if I *gasp* succeed at what I’m really good at?!
I’m all for keeping my options open and placing eggs in multiple baskets. But I’m too open with my options. And I’ve got eggs in too many baskets. I’m just running that hamster wheel, thinking I’m going somewhere and I’m still in the same place. Oh how annoyed I find myself with myself.
And I know you’re probably thinking, “Krystal, stop being so hard on yourself. It takes some people years to figure things out.” And I’d say, “I guess so!” followed by a half-shoulder shrug.
The point is, I need to break this cycle of making one decision only to think another decision is more appealing. I need to focus on that which I was created to love and follow that path. And not only follow that path, but stay on it regardless of what is waiting for me.
So yeah, I definitely stopped participating in National Novel Writing Month…about four days ago. And I was super excited about it, but it just didn’t feel right. I quickly realized that my focus was being pulled away from other writing projects that I would like to pursue. And I battled with the idea of stopping or continuing, but after weighing my options, NaNoWriMo just wasn’t in the cards this year.
Also, it was pulling my focus away from Savannah. I want to spend as much time as possible with her before her baby brother arrives and life changes as we know it, for the better, but with a hectic start.
The reality is, I can work on a novel any time of the year.
Well, tomorrow marks the start of National Novel Writing Month and I’m pretty excited! Not like super excited, but excited enough that I’ll meet my daily goal of 1,667 words. The upside is that Savannah will be with her grandparents, so that leaves uninterrupted time to write. The downside is I made plans with a friend for an afternoon lunch and then I have plans with my husband for some get together at this job. But whatever the case, I’m pretty sure I’ll get the word count knocked out.
My biggest advantage is that I plan to jump around with my writing. I won’t do like I did last year and drive myself crazy trying to force words that just weren’t there. If I feel like working on Chapter Ten before Chapter Seven, then that’s what I’ll do. The most planning I’ve done is come up with titles for each chapter. That’s about all the guidelines I’ve given myself. Everything else, I’m pulling from my head like Dumbledore’s thoughts going into his Pensieve.
It’s gonna be a fun month. I mean right after I finish using the month of November to write my first draft of a book, all that effort will be completely forgotten as I prepare to give birth to my son, Austin, at the beginning of December!
Note to self: the best way to enjoy life is to start by enjoying where you’re presently at.
I would love to travel for a living, and so would my husband. But one, I’m too far in my pregnancy to do something as simple as a road trip. Secondly, my husband and I don’t have the money that’s required to travel the way we want to. But it’s a goal we know we want to work towards. So for now, we enjoy exploring the city we live in. We enjoy picking out our next travel destinations. We read about travel destinations. We watch shows that deal with travel. We give ourselves something to look forward to. And most important, we stopped comparing ourselves to people who are already doing the things that we want to do.
Note to self: You’ve already taken one step in the direction of what you want to do.
I’m now a stay-at-home mom. As much as child care would cost for Savannah, it would cost more once Austin arrives. And I would much rather be home with them than to work just to pay for child care. That makes absolutely no sense. So, full time mommy it is. And I’m enjoying it, but I’m still finding my rhythm, which will still take time because we have Austin to throw into the equation. In addition to finding my rhythm with my tiny human, I’m still figuring out the creative avenues I want to take to generate an income while still being home. I know for a fact that I never want to punch on another person’s time clock again. I want to be my own boss. I’m at the bottom of the ladder, so the only other option is to start climbing.
Note to self: As long as you’re breathing, you have life. So live!