The Audacity of Planning

I absolutely love when something that was just covered in Bible Study plays out in real life for me! Yes, sarcasm was intended!

Now, something happened that didn’t sit well with me (it all worked out though) and I handled it just like my two-year-old would, only there were five dollar curse words involved (Jesus is still working on me) and an obscene amount of tears. Now, as previously stated in parenthesis, everything did work out. But it was in the moments that it seemed like it wasn’t going to work out, I learned some things about myself…

-I’m pretty arrogant. More arrogant than I wanted to admit to…

-I’m pretty selfish. I need to stop being so quick to see how I’m affected by a situation when there are other people involved…

-I’m a professional at overreacting. I never stopped to think that there are other solutions to the “problems” I’m having…

But the biggest thing I learned about myself is that I’m quick to forget to trust God and whatever He has planned. I’m very quick to take matters into my own hands and then I make them worse than they originally would have been! But again, this is one time where everything did work out even when it looked like it wouldn’t!

But what happens when I’m bold enough to think that the plans of Krystal are a match for the plans of God and I lose (obviously!)? See, I tend to forget that God’s ways are higher than mine and even when it doesn’t feel like it, He intends for my good and His glory. I always intend for my good and my glory. I take my eyes off trusting God when everything is going the way I want. But what happens when I truly and boldly lay out plans with the mindset that I can control the outcome and then everything that’s out of my control happens and all my plans fall apart and cannot be salvaged? That’s when I’ll see what my faith is made of. And while I would like to proudly state my first thought would be to trust God, I know that sadly, that won’t be the case. I will get upset first. And then I will kick and scream and curse and cry and probably drink a bottle of wine (I’m a mess, I know, but remember work in progress at giving Jesus the wheel).

I don’t want to be the kind of Christian that becomes so comfortable in life that I forget my faith lies in Christ and not in myself. I don’t want to become so comfortable that I think I’m in control and forget that it’s God who really is. How I respond to everything that happens is what will tell the story of my character and faith. And while I’m at the seventh grade level of being a Christian, I’ve come a long way and I still have a long way to go. But I’m thankful for the reminders to trust God. And I’m thankful for the reminders to be humble because there’s nothing appealing about arrogance!

Making Small Talk

I find myself amazed at the little things we learn that makes a big difference for us, just by making small talk. I really don’t like those awkward silence moments and I’m working on being more personable, so I try to make small talk. And I’m pretty good at it. It’s taken some practice, but it’s been worth it!

What I’ve learned about myself is that I like investing in the people around me. Especially if I know they are going to become a part of my life in some kind of way. So the people who work at my favorite coffee shop, I’m going to learn about them. It helps that my husband works at this coffee shop, so getting to know the people have become easier. The library is another place where I take the time to get to know the people who work there. I’m not just a face that comes and goes, so I shouldn’t act like I am. I also shouldn’t act like those people are just faces as well.

Small talk has helped me break out of my shell and in some cases, it has helped me get over myself. I’m not too good to be spoken to and I’m not above speaking to people. Learning how to make small talk has helped me maintain a more level head. It has helped me get off the island I was so determined to stay on.