Size Sexy

If there was one thing I absolutely hated hearing after giving birth to Savannah and Austin was this, “You don’t even look like you had a baby. You make me sick.” And then there was the variation of, “You disgust me. I still have baby weight. You don’t even look like you had a baby.”

Now, for the record, yes, I know I irritate a lot of women. After I gave birth to Savannah, I weighed less than before I was pregnant. After I gave birth to Austin, I may have retained a couple of pounds. Here’s the thing though, before giving birth to children, my weight maintained at about 137 pounds. After giving birth to Austin, I went up to 160 pounds. At the present moment, I’m at 154 pounds. And again, I can hear some women saying, while rolling their eyes, “Big deal!” Well, here’s the thing again, IT IS A BIG DEAL!!! I have always had a high metabolism, I have always maintained an active lifestyle, and my pant size never went above a size seven depending on the brand of the jeans. The comments of “you make me sick” were a big deal because I was not handling my post baby body very well. I didn’t like how I looked, I didn’t like how I felt, my clothes didn’t fit the way they used to, and I had to do the one thing I don’t like doing, and that’s shop for new clothes, especially jeans. My size seven jeans shot up to a size 11 and I had to learn how to be okay with that.

Words hurt. And when hormones are all over the place, back-ass-ward “compliments” like “You don’t look like you had a baby” don’t help. I may not look like I had a baby almost five months ago, but I see it everyday when I look in the mirror. I feel it when shirts are still too tight and jeans don’t want to cooperate. The statements of “You disgust me” don’t help because I felt very disgusted with how I looked when I was in front of a mirror. In conclusion, women just need to learn how to keep their vain thoughts to themselves. Like I said, yes, I know I irritate a lot of women because the only weight I gained was the baby itself. But I don’t need to hear that when the theme song to some show on Disney Junior brings me to tears. I don’t need to hear it at all. No women does. From one woman to many other women, if your words sound like you’re about to make another woman feel bad about herself, then shut all the way! Figure out a way to keep the words from coming out of your mouth.

It doesn’t matter what a woman’s body type is, words like “You disgust me” are hurtful. They will always be hurtful. To have the mindset that you “disgust” other women because of your body type is not a healthy mindset to have. So get rid of it. Embrace your sexy, whatever that may be to you.

I plan to lose some more weight and I plan to get back in shape. That also means I need to change my eating habits. I want to be healthy and have the necessary energy to keep up with two small children who don’t like to keep still. I don’t cringe as much as I used to when I look at myself in the mirror. But I have started reminding myself that I am beautiful. And I believe my husband when he tells me I am beautiful.

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