Girl, Chill

So, I am very good at overthinking just about everything. It’s quite the talent. If you need any pointers on how to be a professional over thinker, just let me know and I’ll be more than happy to help!

Now in saying that, we’ve begun a series in Bible Study watching Beth Moore’s “The Basket Case” and man, two weeks in and I already feel myself being less anxious about the things around me. Actually after the first week, I was so calm, my response to my husband, Matt, over a text message started a thread of argumentative responses that ended with me crying over the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I was making for my two-year-old, Savannah. Not to mention my five month old, Austin, was waking up from his nap and the last thing I needed to do was become undone because my husband fired off some “mean” responses. Remember, I’m an over thinker and the last thing I needed to do was work myself up thinking of some responses to fire back at the love of my life. I did have the final word by using his words against him and agreeing that in the moment he was being the bad guy after the text before that told him he made me cry…

Twenty minutes after I told him he was the bad guy, he text back asking if I wanted him to bring me coffee home and of course I said, “Yes!” Here’s the crazy thing though, I was calm when I responded. I didn’t feel my anxiety rise at the thought of him coming home and round two taking place! It turned into a civil conversation and he saw where the misunderstanding came on his part. And I realized that my calm demeanor didn’t really translate well in text. It came across as a little passive and I really wasn’t going for that.

One thing I stressed to Matt was that I really took Beth Moore’s words to heart about giving all my anxiety to God and leaving it there. In a nutshell, she was saying how anxiety can destroy our lives. We become a mess and can make a mess of the people around us with our anxiety. I am 30 and I don’t want to be an anxious adult, raising anxious children, and passing my anxiety on to my husband. If I’m the child of God I claim to be, it’s high time I start acting like it and take God’s word and promises to heart and give Him the cares that keep me up at night. And by beginning to do that, I’ve been sleeping like a baby (as much as my actual baby will let me) at night. I even started exercising and changing my eating habits and I feel better!

I’m learning to chill out! I’m learning to be less anxious because that anxiety destroys and it kills. God did not put me on this earth to be chained down by what people did or didn’t do, by what did happen or didn’t happen. That chain falls off when I inhale all that makes me anxious and exhale all that is Jesus.

By overthinking things a lot less and relaxing a lot more know God is in control, I’m enjoying life more and rejoicing when things work out better than Matt or I could imagine!

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