Lately, life hasn’t been working out the way I would like for it to. And naturally, it’s easy to look at the worst, but today I realized that life isn’t working out the way I want it to for the best. A lot has been happening that isn’t allowing me to get comfortable. With comfort comes complacency and motivation can become very hard to obtain.
I have the time (in between wrangling two children) to work on the creative endeavors I have been wanting to get to now. It’s the starting point where it’s important to not be discouraged, but to keep working every single day towards the one thing I want the most. And that is to be my own boss. It’s hard work, but it allows me to generate an income doing what I love and lets me spend time with my children. I set my schedule, instead of others setting it for me.
I have the time to read and write and create. Sure, I have to squeeze that time in between taking care of Savannah and Austin, but I have the time. I’m beginning to see the positives and that is making all the difference.
That’s all for this post! I’ll try and have something more elaborate later!
I absolutely love when something that was just covered in Bible Study plays out in real life for me! Yes, sarcasm was intended!
Now, something happened that didn’t sit well with me (it all worked out though) and I handled it just like my two-year-old would, only there were five dollar curse words involved (Jesus is still working on me) and an obscene amount of tears. Now, as previously stated in parenthesis, everything did work out. But it was in the moments that it seemed like it wasn’t going to work out, I learned some things about myself…
-I’m pretty arrogant. More arrogant than I wanted to admit to…
-I’m pretty selfish. I need to stop being so quick to see how I’m affected by a situation when there are other people involved…
-I’m a professional at overreacting. I never stopped to think that there are other solutions to the “problems” I’m having…
But the biggest thing I learned about myself is that I’m quick to forget to trust God and whatever He has planned. I’m very quick to take matters into my own hands and then I make them worse than they originally would have been! But again, this is one time where everything did work out even when it looked like it wouldn’t!
But what happens when I’m bold enough to think that the plans of Krystal are a match for the plans of God and I lose (obviously!)? See, I tend to forget that God’s ways are higher than mine and even when it doesn’t feel like it, He intends for my good and His glory. I always intend for my good and my glory. I take my eyes off trusting God when everything is going the way I want. But what happens when I truly and boldly lay out plans with the mindset that I can control the outcome and then everything that’s out of my control happens and all my plans fall apart and cannot be salvaged? That’s when I’ll see what my faith is made of. And while I would like to proudly state my first thought would be to trust God, I know that sadly, that won’t be the case. I will get upset first. And then I will kick and scream and curse and cry and probably drink a bottle of wine (I’m a mess, I know, but remember work in progress at giving Jesus the wheel).
I don’t want to be the kind of Christian that becomes so comfortable in life that I forget my faith lies in Christ and not in myself. I don’t want to become so comfortable that I think I’m in control and forget that it’s God who really is. How I respond to everything that happens is what will tell the story of my character and faith. And while I’m at the seventh grade level of being a Christian, I’ve come a long way and I still have a long way to go. But I’m thankful for the reminders to trust God. And I’m thankful for the reminders to be humble because there’s nothing appealing about arrogance!
Matt is by far the best husband!!! Lately I’ve completely taken over the dining room to work on my various art projects. And it’s become a bit of a pain, just kidding, it’s become a massive pain having my art supplies all over the place and trying to keep a section of the table clean for Savannah! So the solution to this creative problem was to get more creative! Matt suggested taking a section of our bedroom and turning it into my makeshift art studio. Apparently he made this suggestion when I was pregnant with Austin, but courtesy of pregnancy brain, I don’t remember.
Anyway, I had to purge myself of a lot of books to make part of this project happen! But that’s what libraries are for, right? Feed the reading habit without books taking over such a tiny space! And in the process of becoming more organized for this work space, I really have to examine what I do and don’t need. For example, I have at least fifteen black Sharpies. I don’t need that many and most of them are a carry over from my days as a Starbucks partner. So getting rid of little things like that surprisingly make a big difference in attaining more space of what I do need! I’m still working on convincing myself that I need to keep certain things because I’ll eventually use them. Nope, I have to stick to my new rule with stuff for 2019: “If it ain’t being used and it ain’t getting used, give it away!”
It’s going to be nice having a designated work space for my art and my writing! I’m looking forward to my biggest concern being paint on the wall or carpet and not Savannah potentially grabbing something she shouldn’t. Which, I’ll give her credit for a two-year-old, she doesn’t care to mess with paint! It’s too messy for her liking! But like I was saying, it’ll be nice to close the door (when Matt’s home), watch painting tutorials on YouTube (I prefer that to reading), and get better at painting with acrylics and watercolors. I don’t plan on making this creative endeavor my sole source of income, but I would like for it to be a paid hobby! I just like to create and more than that, I’m glad we found a space in our 972 square foot apartment for me to do that and be able to spread out a bit! Even if it is in the master bedroom!
So here’s to an awesome husband and to being more creative!
And the time has come again where I need to get rid of stuff around the apartment. This will be the second purge of material possessions in less than a year! There’s just too much stuff! And between Savannah and Austin and all the toys the two have accumulated, there needs to be a balance! I feel at the age of 30 I’m mature enough to get rid of things I no longer use to make room for toys!
But seriously, I have a lot of crap that is in good condition and could be put to proper use by other people. Some things can be sold, some things can be donated, other things can just be given away! It’s beginning to make less sense to hold onto things that I haven’t used in over six months and won’t get to using in another six months. That is my new personal rule: if it ain’t being used and it ain’t getting used, give it away!
I want my home to feel like a home! The only clutter I want to dig through are my childrens’ toys. So this next will be an interesting one! Hopefully I’ll be able to get to my desk by the time I’m done!
Okay, so now I’m presently at Urban Standard in Birmingham. I went to Seeds Coffee first, but they were completely busy and there was nowhere to sit. So here I am, trying a new coffeehouse while spending a day in Birmingham. I’ve done a lot of driving around and I have to admit, I’m appreciating Huntsville so much more! Huntsville definitely feels like home since I’m away from it!
Anyway, being at another coffeehouse has led me to another conclusion: I don’t need to put some kind of schedule to my blog posting. Just write the words and then post the words and let people read the words! That definitely takes the brain work out of it all. Instead of overthinking the process, I’ll just go with it. That’s basically how my time in Birmingham has been going. One thing doesn’t work as expected, I’ll just go to the next thing. Being open to things going wrong has made things interesting. For today, I don’t mind it so much because all I’m doing is finding places to drink coffee.
But even in coffee drinking, I’m taking little lessons and putting them on a grander scale. So here are a few things I’ve learned today:
Not everything is going to go as planned. Throwing tantrums won’t solve anything. Plus, I have a two year old and her tantrums are enough!
Stop overthinking things. Work smarter, not harder, especially when the solution is simple.
Have fun with what I’m doing!
Let setbacks be setups for something greater! So cliché, but whatever!
So far, I’ve had a pretty productive day! I’ve got more writing done today than I have in awhile! Also, being in the car for an extended period of time has given me the opportunity to work on my vocals too!
My present location is The Red Cat Coffeehouse in Birmingham. My original plan was to go to the Birmingham Museum of Art first and then pick a coffeehouse to hang out in. But plans don’t always go the way we want, so I’m sitting in my favorite coffeehouse in Birmingham and I’m doing some much needed writing. I’ll pick a day of the week to have my littles watched and then come up to Birmingham and visit the museum when it isn’t so busy.
So, it’s nice to be out of my comfort zone. I’m out of my messy, cozy apartment. I’m out of my city. I’m away from my usual distractions and all I can think is, “Yay, let’s write!” When I’m not writing, I’m doing a lot of thinking, and I’ve had a lot of time to, once again, figure out what I want my blog focus to be! It’s pretty obvious too: my adventures as a stay-at-home mom! There’s never a dull moment in the Pezzulo household and I need to document my shenanigans more often. I’m far from perfect as a wife and mother. I don’t care about sharing my flaws and I definitely don’t care about who will say what based on my highs and lows in my everyday life!
I’m enjoying a very delicious drink called The Persian and I’m excited to think about all the things I could write about today! The real challenge though is finding the time to write between Austin spitting up on me and cleaning up whatever mess Savannah decided to make while drinking water out of her sippy cup!
Challenge accepted for getting more writing done while keeping my children alive! Today is a breeze to write because I don’t have any distractions. But today is again my starting point to become more consistent with my writing!
It has definitely been a good day. It’s amazing what ten-plus hours of sleep can do for a person! And the silence of not hearing a crying baby and a screaming toddler is pretty nice too. Although, admittedly, I do miss the noise, but only a little. It’s just been nice to have a break and remember what it feels like to sleep and eat food while it’s still hot. What else has been cool is being able to just leave without having two tiny humans tagging along. It was weird, just walking out the door by myself, but still nice!
Now don’t get me wrong, I love Savannah and Austin, but it has been nice to get in bed and stay there unless I have to go to the bathroom! But staying in bed wasn’t that hard last night because I decided it would be a good idea to take down an entire bottle of Riesling. I remember everything I did last night, so I didn’t get plastered. However, I did have a lot of fun dancing in the kitchen and painting. Now, never again will I drink an entire bottle of wine by myself in one evening. Next time, I’ll stretch it over two.
I had fun jumping on the couch this afternoon, just because I could. I see why Savannah loves jumping on the couch more than the beds, but I still have to be a responsible adult and tell her
not to jump on either one. Shoot, I almost fell off the couch while jumping on it. That would be very fun to explain if I did fall and definitely hurt something.
Right now, I’m a 30 year old, sitting in her favorite coffee shop working on this blog and maybe a little more writing before heading home and doing something else stupid like laundry and cleaning the kitchen! I cherish these days. They remind me that I love my children, but I also love my me time!